Toxic, weak or mature masculinity

There are three kinds of male, or better, three kinds of male behaviour: mature, toxic or just plain weak. In reality we may express all of them depending on time and circumstance. And there are many combinations and variations, like being dominant but not toxic etc.

Potential

Masculinity is the male potential, so toxic masculinity is also a potential. While growing up you develop one variant or mixture – toxic, weak or mature – but later in life you have to choose with awareness. I myself expressed a mixture till my 55th. First I was mainly a combination of weak (good boy) and mature. Later on, as I became more confident, I also developed mild forms (depending on who you ask) of toxic behaviour. Then I realised how destructive this abuse of power potentially was, to others and to myself, and I foccussed on becoming a mature male.
Looking back I see I needed to explore toxic masculinity up to a degree to get to know myself, warts and all, my shadow self. There is a lot of power and self-knowledge there. Only then I could transmute my potential into something positive: mature masculinity.

Toxic masculinity: how to change?

Strive to act in a mature way all the time, stop your toxic behaviour and discipline the weak little boy.
The first step is to be wide awake and acknowledge where or when you behave immaturely, toxic or weak; don’t defend yourself nor beat yourself up but simply own it. Next, explore what’s going on; why do I re-act as I do; what drives the behaviour. This may take some time, years maybe, to get to the bottom of it. Maybe you need some help to gain clarity, so organize it, that is actually the mature way.
Know that the toxic or weak behaviour will recur again and again in ever smaller and subtle form but learn to catch and stop it in the moment. And then do something maturely. Gradually it will loose its grip and you shift to a mature mode, a true or truer male.