A MATURE MALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIP

From romance to reality.

mature male-female relationship
A mature male-female relationship is hard work. It requires constant commitment, alertness and a willingness to listen and change from both sides. Mature love between a man and a woman is not based on romance but on reality.
It requires, to begin with, from you as a man that you learn to discriminate between the polarities. And especially that you learn what it means to be in male polarity.
Developing a mature man-woman relationship, like everything else in life, takes time. But the reward is great: a source of great joy and, what’s more vitality and constant renewal.

How you make it work

  • She is your wife, not your mother. That means you can’t afford little boy behavior: no helplessness and passivity. Nor can you behave like a rebel, passive-aggressive or not, or freebooter. It is immature and calls forth the mother in her.
  • You take her fully into your life: physically, emotionally and mentally. No noncommittal attitude. She is not your girlfriend. You are not her friend. You are her husband and she is your wife or you are at least on the way of becoming that.
  • You have a sense of purpose in life or you are at least hunting for it. You share the purpose (or the hunt) with your wife. On a fundamental level, she fully agrees and supports this purpose. So you have a shared sense of purpose. There is no competition and there are no separate or hidden agendas.
  • You are both committed to intelligent cooperation. This means listening, absorbing and supporting.
  • You as a male lead and take full responsibility for any decision. She takes your lead but only because she wants to on the basis of intelligent cooperation.
  • She then feels free to give you feedback. If it is negative, absorb it, no matter how unpleasant. A man takes the punches standing up. And then does what is needed (not what he wants).
  • Confrontation and conflict are not avoided but intelligently explored. This is a learning process. Be courageous. You use them to look deeper what is going on. Become good at it so that you both can win.
  • Basically this implies that you are committed to fight for a mature relationship but prepared to end it if it does not work in the end. No compromise.
  • If your wife brings you her feelings about something – no matter how irrational it may sound to your ears – don’t ask for an explanation. Don’t treat her like she is a male. You listen, absorb and try to feel what she brings. That’s always something you don’t see.
  • Respect differences: You are each others equal but you are not the same. You are a male, she is a female.
  • No familiarity, that is the beginning of contempt.
  • She is your closest mirror. If she’s not happy, it has to do with you too. Take the initiative, explore together what is going on and do what is needed.
  • You inspire each other so that life together is an adventure and not a comfort zone or status quo.
  • As for contraception when needed: take responsibility for your seed by wearing a condom. Don’t force her to confuse her body (and more).

    • And of course, everything comes to an end: death can separate you or you change, or the other or both of you – life calls for something different – and you go your separate ways. Take responsibility for that too.

    Further reading

    If you want to explore more read the synopsis of the male book – The Quest for Maleness – or better read/study the book. You can buy the ebook at any online store and a hard copy at Renascent Legacy Press.
    Better still, buy and also read the female book – Unveil the Mystery of the Female – and of course share it with her.